Identifying the tears and embracing the Truth

So I would say this past week has been my most difficult since moving to Knoxville.  I feel like I need to preface by saying I am still loving loving loving being married and am blown away daily by my husband's unconditional love for me. He is nothing short of a gift. There have just more moments recently of feeling super overwhelmed, super insecure, and super anxious.  And I keep asking myself and the Lord, why? Why am I feeling so crazy??

Well, with the help of the Lord and others and a book I'm reading..I'm starting to figure it out.  I realized this weekend that I (not to be dramatic), was having a sort of identity crisis. I realized almost everything I knew myself to be is no longer true (a teacher, a coach, a single woman, a roommate, a South Carolinian, a Hare, a non-cook :))  This has left me evaluating my heart and where I have been finding my significance. The questions twirling in my head: Am I less right now because I'm not working outside the home?  Am I less because I'm not ministering to high school girls? Am I less because I'm not known here like I am known back home? The answer is NO even when sometimes its feels like a loud YES.

I have been reminded of the well-known truth that identity must be found in the Lord, as His child.  That IS my primary, ultimate, never changing identity. That is what gives me purpose, significance, joy. Seasons change and life brings blessings and losses.  If I don't find my identity in the Lord but rather in what I "do"...My life will be full of identity crises.

I have also been reminded that I can not earn more acceptance from the Lord.  It is impossible for Him to love me more than He already does. No matter what I do or don't do. Even in typing that, I'm thinking really? that is true, right? YES...We I am so human in my thinking.  I sure long to embrace this love and love others in the same way!

Here are a couple of verses I am claiming this week...

Deuteronomy 31:8- "it is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

1 Peter 2:9- "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light."

some updates :)

Its hard to know what to post when so much has occurred since the last post.  A couple highlights are...

I had a job interview last week at Smoky Mountain Tennis Academy.  It was encouraging in that they want me to work there, were super nice and very laid back.  I am going the next couple days to some clinics to help out and kind of see where I could fit in to what they have.  I'm still hoping for some clear direction here.

I have started being a part of a few different Bible studies.  There is a group called "Just Moved" that is specifically for women who have just relocated to Knoxville and are transitioning into a new phase of life here.  I also started doing BSF on Wednesday mornings.  I went last week and was put on a waiting list because so many people want to do it here.  I asked the Lord to let me get in quickly if I was supposed to do it and I got a call from a group leader the very next day...So I'm planning on committing to it for this year. Lastly, I am going to do a study with some girls from our Sunday School class.  This one meets in the evening and I'm just really excited to build relationships with these sweet girls.  I think I will really enjoy my time with them.  I realize this seems like a lot of commitments right now so I am praying that I will not be overwhelmed.  However, BSF is the only one that requires much preparation so hopefully I'll be able to do all three.  This may have to change depending on the above tennis work, but I am confident the Lord will be clear as to what I should do.

Lastly, we were able to go to Columbia this past weekend and spend time with the fam and go watch the gamecocks.  We had a GREAT time, it just went by too fast :(  We played my parents in tennis Saturday morning. I got to see Janine and Hunter for lunch which was such a sweet time and then Shonda and Ben totally surprised us by coming to our tailgate and the game! It was such FUN day!  On Sunday, we got to see the rest of the fam.  My nieces are the cutest and it was so good to see them.  Oh yeah, and the gamecocks won!  Perfect weekend.

On the way to the game! Can not express how much I love that man.

The Brittons with the Marleys!!

With my sweet and growing niece, Addison :)

Ready for Fall!

Last Friday, my sweet and generous mother in law invited me to go shopping for some fall items to decorate our house with.  I had no idea what was in store!  It was so fun and I got lots of great fall decor! Now if the weather would just cool off, we'll be in business :)  Here a few items that I got...Em, sorry no picture of the owls.

Weekend Fun

We went to dinner by boat on Friday night.  It was a beauuuutiful night to do so.  It was the first time I had ridden in a Donzi (We rode in a friend's, not Lan's)  It was very loud but very fun :)  Apparently the one we rode in wasn't very fast for a Donzi, but it was plenty fast for this girl.













Saturday was Carol's birthday! We went out to eat and then back to their house for cupcakes.  Mariruth came in from Nashville and it was so sweet to see her, just not enough time together! I believe Carol enjoyed her birthday.  I hope she felt super loved and appreciated, because she certainly is!

Carol and Roo :)